My new and morphing thoughts on marriage

 My feelings regarding marriage have changed. When I say this, I am referring to my own personal experience--my life. Earlier this year, I ended a 3 year relationship that I fully expected to develop into a marriage that would last the rest of our lives. I don't want to get into the details of that. I moved on to another relationship--but I changed. Marriage is no longer a goal for me. It has nothing to do with the new guy. It's just that after 3 years with someone I thought was the perfect man of my dreams (yes, there was some big time denial going on), I'm afraid of getting stuck. Stuck in a relationship that I no longer desire for whatever reason.

With me, it's the other way around. :-D

Let's blame it on my age. Yes, I'm still young. I wouldn't say I have plenty of time left, though...but...I don't particularly care. Thanks, Imah, for warning me before I'm even 25 that my biological clock is ticking, so I won't have much time to bear children. What happened to "don't get married til you're 30"?! Well, I definitely don't want kids anytime soon. I'm not ready for any of that--kids, marriage, the works.

Gag me.

I don't even know if I want to ever get married. As I previously stated, it certainly isn't a goal for me. Why should it be? Right now, I just want to be my own person. I don't want my relationship with a man (or any other person) to define who or what I am. I can't stand seeing that in other people (not women) as well.

Yes, I have a boyfriend--a lover--but (at my request) we have an open relationship. I don't want to have any other serious relationships other than him, or even after him. If he and I don't work out, I'll just play the field. If he and I do work out...well, that's going to be complicated. Any equation involving me always is.